Evening Hosts Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

TV's leading comedians spent the airtime ridiculing President Donald Trump's recently launched immigration initiative, called the "gold card," portraying it as a clear pay-for-access arrangement for the rich.

The Late Show's Pointed Take

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday tune about the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils all he handles."

The focus was the new plan which enables foreign nationals to purchase U.S. legal status for a sum of one million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for 5 million. The program's portal pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick message for you to rich foreigners: prior to you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "get cash" from businesses looking to hire skilled workers, with significant costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your selection – if it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"The best background check the government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow wealthy foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval ratings during financial worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to discuss cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted strangely to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning media defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.